


Quiet and cool

by Ghoulboyboos



Series: The Ace!Shane Tales [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Ace! Shane, Asexual Character, Getting Together, M/M, brief mentions of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 03:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15330753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghoulboyboos/pseuds/Ghoulboyboos
Summary: Shane wants Ryan. Well, not like the whole “let’s touch each other’s privates and groan and moan a lot until we’re sweaty and gross” thing. But he wants to be with Ryan. Kiss him. Hold his hand. Come home to him. Be domestic and grossly cute together. Sit around in their pajamas eating ice cream out of the tub while watching cartoons. He really wants Ryan. So he doesn’t know what to say.





	Quiet and cool

**Author's Note:**

> I'm ace so I had to write some asexual Shyan at some point. Very fluffy because I'm me and I never write anything that doesn't include soft boys.
> 
> Title from "Love in the Library" which gives me major ace vibes.

The first time, Ryan kisses him, Shane is melting. They are on their way back from a filming location. Both of them are bleary eyed and tired. Ryan has been on edge all night trying to sleep in the abandoned farm that is allegedly haunted by the family who died there. Lead poisoning of the well. Shane has been on edge all night because of _fucking Ryan_ who jumps and yelps at every little sound. They are sleeping in an old farmhouse. It groans. Big deal. They almost get in a fight at 4am but Shane is so tired he simply drops his head against Ryan’s shoulder and begs him to try and relax a bit. He is actually concerned for Ryan’s health at this point, so much stress can’t be good. Lo and behold, Ryan relaxes. A little. They whisper stories about nicer places to one another and manage to fall asleep at some point.

 

During the drive back, they’re quiet. Ryan suggest Shane can try and sleep a bit but Shane refuses, knowing how tired Ryan is. He doesn’t exactly say that he’s worried and won’t let Ryan fight the fatigue alone. He might have said he’s afraid Ryan will drive them in a ditch. Somehow, Ryan still understands the sentiment. He turns up the radio a little and they just drive. It’s comfortable.

When they pull into the parking lot of the car rental place, Ryan turns off the ignition and looks at Shane for a long time. Shane is about to ask if there is something on his face, when Ryan leans in and kisses him. Shane’s eyes close slowly and he kisses back, dumbfounded and happy. They softly ease into an embrace, exchanging chaste kisses and Ryan whispers something about how he should have done this sooner. Shane can’t disagree.

 

The second time Ryan kisses him, Shane freaks out a little. They have been talking about trying a relationship. Ryan has invited him to dinner and they hang at Ryan’s place afterwards, watching a Netflix series and eating popcorn. Somewhere around episode three and four, Ryan has taken Shane’s hand and they laced their fingers together. By episode five they are kissing, the empty popcorn bowl discarded on the floor. Ryan runs his fingers through Shane’s hair and Shane hums into the kiss. Pressure is put against his lips, Ryan seizes up a little, leaning over him – which is ridiculous considering their height difference – and when Shane’s back hits the couch he chokes. He sees where this is going and he really wants to be along for the ride because, fuck, it’s too soon but he is fairly sure he  _loves_ Ryan. But the thought of hands touching him all over, reaching for his dick or whatever is as if someone has poured an ice bucket over him. He doesn’t really hear himself whimper as he pulls back, but suddenly Ryan is in his face, eyes wide and concerned and he calls his name.

 

“Shane? Shane! Are you okay?”

Shane looks down. He is curled up in complete defense. His knees are pressed together and pulled up, his arms are in front of his  chest, crossed as if expecting a punch. He sucks in a breath and it’s shuddery and shaken and  _oh no_ he doesn’t want to cry in front of Ryan. He is ruining this, all of it and it was going so well-

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out and wishes to any existing deity that he can hold back the tears. “I- I can’t.”

Ryan pulls his hands away and Shane already misses the touch. He wants to run away, apologize via text. Maybe he can change his name and leave the country. That wasn’t too dramatic, was it?

“Shane I’m so sorry. I thought we- I thought…”

Ryan trails off and he sounds so sad that Shane wants to hug him.

“I can drive you home, if you want. Or call you an Uber. Anything. Anything you want, Shane.”

 

Shane wants Ryan. Well, not like the whole “let’s touch each other’s privates and groan and moan a lot until we’re sweaty and gross” thing. But he wants to be with Ryan. Kiss him. Hold his hand. Come home to him. Be domestic and grossly cute together. Sit around in their pajamas eating ice cream out of the tub while watching cartoons. He really wants Ryan. So he doesn’t know what to say. Ryan clears his throat. He still looks sad.

 

“Just… Shane. I’m sorry if I fucked this up but please don’t stop being my friend? I- I really care about you and I don’t want to lose that.”

 

Wait. What? Shane’s eyes widen as he looks at Ryan.

Ryan looks _devastated_. Shane’s mind is trying to catch up but he can’t think so he runs his mouth instead.

 

“Hang on. Are you not breaking up with me?”

 

Ryan stares at him. Shane realizes this is probably the first time he sees someone be “flabbergasted”.

 

“I thought you were breaking up with me!” Ryan’s mouth won’t close as he is fishing for words. “You said “you can’t”. I thought you were having second thoughts!”

 

“Not about _you_! Not about _us_! It’s _me_ who’s weird. Who’s… wrong and broken.”

 

He hasn't said that in years. He knows it's not true. Shane sighs and presses the heel of his hand to his eye. Fuck it. He’ll probably end up crying at some point tonight.

 

“I… I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”

 

_Honesty is the most important part of a relationship_ , a voice in his brain suggests.

 

“I’m asexual.”

 

He mutters it so quietly that he doesn’t even hear it. Ryan leans closer, looking confused.

 

“What was that? I- didn’t hear you.”

 

Shane takes a deep breath.

 

“I’m asexual. I don’t experience sexual attraction. I still have romantic feelings, I still like kisses and cuddles and I would like to have a committed relationship. But I don’t want sex. Sometimes I’m fine with it being mentioned. But mostly I want nothing of it.”

 

It’s almost rehearsed, his little speech. Picked together over years of having to explain things. He just hopes Ryan understands. He hopes Ryan doesn’t hate him. It’s stupid and Shane knows that, but sometimes you can’t shut your brain off. Maybe that’s something people who have sex can do, but he truly doubts it. He looks up at Ryan.

Ryan still looks stunned, eyes wide, mouth trying to form words. But the hint of emotional destruction has disappeared and he looks worried instead. Not exactly what Shane had hoped for.  


 

“Shane I’m so sorry. You should have told me. I wouldn’t have...” He gestures vaguely to their position. Shane has relaxed a little, but he’s still on his back while Ryan kneels on the sofa. 

“Had I known you weren’t up for this, I wouldn’t have initiated anything. This doesn’t… I don’t need _this_.”

 

Shane snorts.

 

“I got the impression you like sex a whole lot. Regular, varying sex. Like shower sex and all kinds of intercourse you can imagine. At least that’s what I remember from Debatable.”

 

Ryan looks down at him with that fond expression he wears when he calls Shane an idiot and really means … well he still means Shane is an idiot. But  _his_ idiot.

 

“Shane. I like sex. I’m not saying that’s not a thing. But a relationship isn’t just sex. It’s about the person you are with. About being together and going through life together. Intimacy isn’t just boning. It’s …. everything.”

He carefully takes Shane’s hand. Their fingers lace together as if they have done it for years.

 

“And I do like you more than sex.”

 

Well. Of all the things, this is the one that makes Shane tear up.

 

“You know,” he says with a thick voice, “that was oddly sweet and romantic.”

Ryan grins at him. He looks hopeful and so cute that Shane has to sit up and kiss him.

 

“So what you’re saying is, we can still try?”

Ryan’s expression is soft.

“If you’re up for it, yes. I would like that a lot. We can… explore what we are going to be like. What we like, and all that.”

Shane smiles at him.

 

“Let’s try.”

 

-

 

Ryan is right. They find a lot of things they like.

 

Shane likes holding Ryan’s hand. Once they are comfortable enough, they even do it at work. Nothing too cheesy, just a couple of their fingers linked between their desks while they are researching or editing, only sometimes they disentangle to use their keyboards. He holds Ryan’s hand when they’re shopping and drags him through the cereal aisle while discussing if Captain Crunch is a pirate or a “boring” Captain.

 

Ryan likes touching Shane’s hair. He runs his fingers through it, burrows his face in it when they cuddle on the couch and generally likes some contact with it. Shane thinks his hair is weird, but it’s oddly touching when Ryan looks up at him from the breakfast table and smiles that happy little smile because Shane’s hair is a bedhead mess of strands sticking up everywhere and Ryan reaches up to smooth it out a little and scratches Shane’s scalp. Shane has do bend down quite a bit for that but he gladly does so.

 

Shane likes their kisses. So does Ryan. Sometimes Shane bends down to catch Ryan’s lips when the cameras are taking in the sight of whatever haunted location they are visiting. Sometimes Ryan pushes up on his toes and gives Shane a quick peck on the lips when they meet in the small kitchenette to grab coffee. Sometimes Shane wraps Ryan in his long arms and kisses him till they are breathless and Ryan’s hand is in his hair and the other is fisted in his sweater and it doesn’t escalate and Shane is calm.

 

Ryan likes sleeping with Shane, in the literal sense of the word. He curls up in Shane’s arms, tucks his head under his boyfriend’s chin and holds onto him all night. They don’t really do it on location, partly because of the cameras and partly because Ryan can’t sleep anyway. But he scoots close to Shane so they can feel each other’s body heat and he relaxes  _a little_ at least. Shane usually gives him a kiss on the forehead, then. Cameras be damned.

 

Shane realizes he likes a couple of different things, too. He likes holding Ryan when his boyfriend touches himself. Likes to wrap his arms tight around Ryan’s shoulders, kissing his hair, his cheek, his neck. He likes nipping at Ryan’s skin. Not so much because it does something for him, but because Ryan seems to love it. He will groan and melt in Shane’s arms and it’s wonderful. Shane also realizes that some of the toys Ryan has, he can use on his boyfriend without getting in too much of the mess that makes his skin crawl. He also realizes that seeing Ryan undone and sweaty and aroused underneath him isn’t bad at all, especially when he is at least partly to blame for the situation.

 

He thinks about it sometimes. There is a spectrum to asexuality. He clearly isn’t as repulsed as usual when it comes to Ryan. But he still can’t find himself yearning for it. When something sexual between them happens, it happens. It doesn’t freak him out or puts him off. It’s … fine. He is still very much asexual. He is also still very much in love with Ryan, except now he doesn’t feel foolish to think it. He should probably tell Ryan, because he is relatively sure that Ryan loves him  back . He hears him whisper it sometimes when he thinks Shane is asleep. As if he could ever sleep soundly next to Ryan when the other man is fretting about something.

 

“Hey Ryan?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

 

Ryan kisses him. It’s like their first kiss again. Shane is melting.

 

“I love you, too.”


End file.
